My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
