he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Can you bring me the toilet please
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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