if i can run in heels then i can drive
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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