Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
