I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
the liver wants what the liver wants
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
