I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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