6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
