Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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