you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
