You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
