I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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