Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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