Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
