What did we do last night that was yellow?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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