i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
