She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
