Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
