ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
