Already got asked if we're dating
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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