I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
