sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
