Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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