Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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