Your face is a jimmy john
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
