did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
