addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
