I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
