so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
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