You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
