How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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