i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
