Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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