Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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