You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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