yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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