i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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