If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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