i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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