My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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