So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
