Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
