covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
