If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
