So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
