My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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