look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
