dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
