the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
