apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
