I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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