Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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