so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
