I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
