It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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