he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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