redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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