i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
