I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
