We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
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Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
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The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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