After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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