Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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